Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
