I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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