In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
