And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
