Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(519): View more from Ontario

I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.

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(847): View more from Illinois

you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé

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(703): View more from Virginia

the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression

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(216): View more from Ohio

Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.

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(503): View more from Oregon

He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.

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(631): View more from New York

when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

That ass isn’t going to eat itself.

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