textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
