handjob tips. give me some.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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