After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize