Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
