I didn't shave. On purpose
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize