Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
