i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
