the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
