i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
