I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
