Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
