You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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