she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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