Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
did i just pee glitter
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
