am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
