And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
