dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
