ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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