he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
