I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
