I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
