Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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