the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
