You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
