Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
