Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
