Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
