i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
