Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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