we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
