I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
