Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Randomize
