No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize