a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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