he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
