My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
