I must be too annoying 4 u.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
my poor anus
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
