and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
