Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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