is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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