your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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