i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
