Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
