butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
