On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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