I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
