Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
