and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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