Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
