so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
