Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
