so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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