You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
God gave him joint rollers for hands
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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