You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
